


The Art of Sass

by Stardust948



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bad Puns, Crack, Gen, Ozai deserves every single nickname, Sozin's Comet, Suki Deserves Love, Suki fic, sarcastic teenagers being sarcastic, you don't get roasted until middle schoolers roast you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:42:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardust948/pseuds/Stardust948
Summary: On the way to the Earth Kingdom after defeating the Fire Lord, Suki learns how to sass by using Ozai as practice.
Relationships: Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 69





	The Art of Sass

**Author's Note:**

> This is a crack fic so the characters will be OOC but hopefully not too much. 
> 
> Please enjoy my poor attempt at humor. 
> 
> Wattpad link: https://www.wattpad.com/story/238786352-the-art-of-sass

The Hundred Year war was finally over and they had won. 

Suki could hardly believe it. Sokka leaned against her as he and Toph roasted a freshly defeated Ozai. 

"Phoenix King..." Ozai rasped before passing out with his butt in the air. 

"Oh sorry, King of getting his butt kicked." Toph sassed. 

It was hilarious and everyone laughed. Suki wanted to join. How often do you get to mock a tyrant to his face without the threat of dying? 

"Yeah King of the...Guys...who don't win?" 

Oof. 

"Just leave the nicknames to us honey," Toph dismissed. "Let's get his Unroyalness onto the ship." 

Toph and Aang hoisted Ozai up to drag him onto the ship but not before Sokka got a good kick in, very nearly breaking his other leg in the process. 

"The irony is not lost on me." Sokka muttered. 

Oh kicking someone while they're down. Suki gets it. 

"Looks like he's the King of getting his face kicked!" Suki declared confidently. 

Toph yelled at her about not copying her lines as she bended metal cuffs around Ozai. 

Suki paused for a moment as the airship rose off the ground. 

"Okay okay I got it. King of...falling...down?" 

There was a collective groan while Aang snickered. Well at least someone thought she was funny. 

"Ah my dearest Suki," Sokka said as he nuzzled against her. "You are too pure for this world of sass." 

Suki elbowed him hard in the stomach causing him to make an 'oomph' sound. She was a very funny and sarcastic person thank you very much. Especially after hanging around Sokka for so long. Sokka pretended to be offended while Toph doubted based on her recent comments. One comment didn't count because Suki stole it from her. 

"No I got this. King of-" 

"Phoenix!" Ozai interrupted Suki with his eye twitching. He was sick of these imbeciles mocking him in his glorious presence. 

"Can it Firebutt." Toph waved off. 

"Dingus. King of Dingus! Because it rhymes with Phoenix. Get it?" Suki finished awkwardly. 

"What's a dingus?" Aang asked. 

Shoot. 

What was a dingus? 

She definitely heard that somewhere. 

Sokka sighed. Teaching Suki the art of sass was going to be harder than he thought. But he would never deny anyone who wanted to learn the sacred practice. 

"Okay so you got the rhyme part down but it's a lot more effective if you used uh...actual words." 

"Duh Sokka I know how to use actual words." 

"Could've fooled me Captain!" Toph mocked salute. 

"Anyway!" Sokka shot Toph an annoyed look forgetting that she can't see. "The key to coming up with a really good and really annoying nickname is describing their appearance or actions in a fun creative way. Ain't that right Loser Lord?!" 

"Sokka you already used that one." Aang pointed out. No repeats. Those were the rules to this game. 

"Yeah like the Dethroned Dragon or Emperor of Emptiness." Toph said nonchalantly. 

"You're taking all the good ones!" 

"Try to keep up Twinkle Toes!" 

The two squabble for a bit, ignoring Ozai's corrections, as Suki pondered this new information. Sokka could see the gears in her head turning and tried to keep from putting his two cent in. Suki was smart. He knew she could figure this out! 

"Ashmaker? More like Ashfaker! Right?" 

"Uh Suki he used real fire. That wasn't fake." Aang said awkwardly. "But he's no Hotman that's for sure." 

"He right." Sokka interjected. "No flameo there." 

"Hey you said no made up words!" Suki playfully shoved Sokka as the others laughed. 

Ozai was taken aback. Out of all the nicknames that was surely the worst. 

"Fine then. How about Disheveled McGoat-donkey face!" Sokka snorted. 

Nope. That was worst. 

The taunts and jabs continued all the way back to the Earth kingdom military base. Toph was in the lead for the most brutal nicknames while Sokka was leading for the most creative nicknames. Aang kept saying Hotman over and over, breaking the no repeats rule, but no one cared since it aggravated Ozai way more than Zuko. The old sap ended up banging his head against the wall in a vain attempt to knock himself unconscious. The Avatar had lied about not killing him. 

They were nearing the military base and Suki has not gotten a good jab in yet. Time was running out! 

When they landed, Ozai was being extra difficult and throwing a temper tantrum that rival the crankiest toddler. Toph had enough and metalbended Ozai out the airship, causing him to land face down on the ground. 

"Phoenix King? More like Phoenix fling!" Suki declared proudly. 

Aang and Sokka looked at each other while snorting before doubling down in laughter. Toph punched Suki affectionately on the arm, smirking. 

"Nice one Captain. I do fling 'em pretty good." 

"Thank you Melon Lord." 

Yes! Suki finally got one in thus graduating from the School of Sass. 

"Just take me to prison already." Ozai moaned, voice muffled by a face full of dirt.


End file.
